Personal Space Essay Example for Free

Personal Space Essay I. Introduction An individuals self- concept is the core of his personality. One’s perception affects every aspect of human behavior: the person’s ability to learn, the capacity to grow and change. For every act an individual makes, he or she manifests what character he or she has. One certain person displays his own image through the conveyance of his behavior towards another. It is a mutual process wherein the receiver responds and takes action to the approach of the sender. Our thinking and behavior during interaction are always in anticipation of a response. This certain behavior that we use in order to attain interaction can be a positive or a negative one. At times, it can act as a defense and a way of concealing motives and thoughts. Human behavior is observed in the branch of Psychology to gain more knowledge that would contribute to an understanding of a certain culture based on the manipulation of the stimulus-response that would change human behavior despite of the underlying debate that behavior is hereditary or nurtured by the environment. It is also a range of behaviors displayed by humans influenced by several factors such as culture, attitude, emotions, values and ethics. The behavior of a human being depends on the potential and capacity of his or her physical, mental, emotional, and social activity during the phases of human life (Hickson III, M. Stacks, D., `1985). Living with the different factors that would generate the expression of manners of an individual, it basically acts as the foundation of molding the actual character of a certain person. In accordance to how people express their mental outlook, they respond and reciprocate towards the exposure of signals of the opposite sex, the perception to invasion of own psychological personal space, and the characteristics and levels of intimacy shared by both parties. Personal space is known to be the area surrounding a person which they consider as theirs (McConnell, J., 1985). It is their concealed spot wherein other people cannot penetrate and violate easily. Being able to value their personal space, they are able to set limits and certain zones on the ones they are interacting to (Eyserick, H. Eyserick, M., 1983). Human beings naturally bounce back to the encroachment of their personal space as Freudian would say. But once a person’s personal space has been penetrated by an outsider that understands the levels of comfort as of that of the receiver of message, there would be a certain allure of intimate bond between the two. Though intimacy has yet to be delved into to have the preciseness of its boundaries and levels as to observe the certain characteristics wherein spectators are able to classify their position when interacting with the person to whom they have invaded the private space. At par with the receiver of this invasion of space, he or she would be able to discuss and critically analyze the response to the means of how their own space has been occupied without having to suddenly jump into conclusion the actions being presented to them by the opposing party. Furthermore, through an interview, this paper will be the guided accordingly by the words of experts of the daily examples of private and intimate situations that would help foreshadow into reading the verbal and non-verbal signals each respondent would reciprocate in case to case basis. And to gauge whether or not this would be a case of violation or permitting one’s self to break down walls for others to penetrate into their personal space. The aim of this paper is to define, relate and categorize the development of a person’s perspective on privacy and intimacy when interacting to the same and/or the opposite sex. It would like to explore into the dynamics by which personal space would be determined by an internal or external influence upon it, and its connection to intimate situations. This is to widen the perspective of teenagers within the researcher’s age group when dealing with their social groups and be aware of the tell tale signs of positive and negative intrusion of privacy and display of intimacy towards others. II. Body Personal space â€Å"for me is the amount of space that you define for yourself by which you form of a barrier† (R. Tejeros, personal communication, February 13, 2012). This barrier of a person’s personal space is where an individual secludes himself or herself from external factors that may contribute to his or her reluctance to share the privacy that encloses a formed character (Gunsch, 2003). A character that has been influenced throughout its formation by numerous social groups that made this very individual self cautious to letting in strangers and known personalities alike to a realm that can make or break his or her disposition. Group dynamics is a study on personal and social space. These are standardized space perimeters wherein social clusters are able to reconcile the differentiation of personal space and its violation; also where social agents around us become an intimate, social, factor to everyday interaction. Though space may be standardized by norms, the interviewee has presented a notion that personal space is still very relative on most aspects. An individual defines it for him/herself and regardless of the standardization, and this is all based on the person’s ability to consent to the external factors or decline its persistence to enter the boundary line of this person’s space (R. Tejeros, personal communication, February 13, 2012). Furthermore, each person carries an invisible bubble around their bodies wherein the size depends on different factors such as personality, status and culture. This bubble is known to be considered as a person’s own personal, psychological space (McConnell, J., 1985). It is an approximate area surrounding an individual which should not be trespassed by an unsuspecting spectator for it creates an unsteady social relationship that when pierced by others becomes a violation of personal space. This private space, which role is to keep violation down, comes with the diversity of cultures who establish and upright barriers when interacting with other people. Raising these indomitable barriers are sort of their safety zones wherein people are unlikely to attack one another (Eyserick, H. Eyserick, M., 1983). With regards to the sex differences of personal space, the opposite sex would define personal space as a challenge. This would highly depend on the availability of the person’s willingness to interact to the opposite sex. Most especially in cases where in the male would pursue a female to interact with, if personal space would be regarded as barrier as said above, this would complicate the premises by which the sender of the message would like to address their message. For most cases, an aggression to entering the opposite sex’s personal space would be seen as a threat. A scenario that deals with a same sex penetration of personal space however would be put lightly as how Sir Tejeros (personal communication, February 13, 2012) said in his interview as â€Å"there should be a level of friendship or relationship first before you can get comfortable with a person within the same sex. And if you are in that level, the personal space is not a problem.† Based on this statement, the sexual orientation may be a high contributor to how other individuals would interact but regardless, a certain individual would still deal with others though with the factor that there should be a consequent relationship that should be established and the ability for both parties to gauge the comfort that they share to each other. Apart from the relationship that have been formed prior to create a state of sharing one’s personal space and privacy with each other, there are other factors that has been provided such as definition of the person’s character, personality, cultural background, race/color, age, gender and current status/authority (Berba R. Tejeros, personal communication, February 13, 2012). These factors contribute to both an easy relationship and appearance within the perimeters of the individual’s personal space though these may also be grounds for stereotyping and biases that may cause for an individual to also reluctantly open up to others. It was also stated through the course of interview that with the cultural setup here in the Philippines, these factors would be somewhat different from the ones where racial discrimination is rampant in western countries as well as first world countries. There may be discrimination but in the cultural setup in the Philippines, the social conflicts are quite subtle and are more distinctly seen if verbally exposed. Either way, these factors are not to be of constant basis for personal space is a subjective matter. Entering somebody’s personal space is an indication of familiarity and sometimes, intimacy. The receiver of the message creates a line that would not or should not be crossed by the sender in an actual confrontation to be able to have a decent and comfortable conversation. When this boundary is transpired, it causes uneasiness between the two people interacting. It is by human reflex that people react to certain responses. Reacting defensively when personal space is invaded is one way of assessing its significance to that certain individual. This reaction of the person aggressed varies according to how his or her space is invaded and whoever violated it. Whenever a person feels threatened by an outside force to enter his or her personal space, he or she will have a tendency to dislike the invader as a reaction and dismiss all opportunities (Lindgren, H.C. Byrne, D., 1971). Erikson’s theory of development states that intimacy would be attained through forming closely knit relationships which is basic to the growth of social interaction of early adulthood. (Davis, D. Clifton, A., 1995) Intimacy is known to be a token of familiarity and affection, a close relation or association with deep knowledge of a certain person, place or period of history. Most of the times, Intimacy is considered to be the act of being affectionate of the people involved in a certain relationship and convey their thoughts and emotions by means of physical contact. This way of expressing intimacy to the other party is most likely to be applicable for those people who are considered touchers and are more comfortable in using the non-verbal communication while interacting. Aside from expressing feelings and motives through physical contact, there are other factors that contribute to the building up of close relationship of the people involved. Being intimate can also be observed when people involved in a relationship are attached in a way that they spend most of their times with each other, shares common similarities and interests, can communicate easily and has a personal connection that other people wouldn’t easily comprehend unless informed. Being intimate with another party depends on the built relationship of the people involved. It varies according to what and how intimacy is being expressed whether emotional, spiritual, intellectual or sexual (Berba, personal communication, February 16, 2012). There is a favored level of interpersonal intimacy, discrepancies from this stage and where it can possibly remunerate between the two people interacting. (Eyserick H., Eyserick M., 1983) As we all move through in getting to know someone deeper, we develop intimacy with them which is one of the factors that makes the relationship more profound. Building up a closer connection with that someone, certain levels of intimacy are exposed. For starters, people begin to see and judge if it is safe to connect with that individual in the stage of safe communication. In this phase, there are no feelings, personal vulnerability and opinions involved. This is the kind of interaction we have with people we don’t know that well and shares minimal intimacy. In level two, which is where we start sharing other people’s thoughts, beliefs and opinions, we are beginning to reveal more of ourselves and already build have a small foundation. In this stage, disagreements of opinions shared reveal inflexibility and intolerance already and becomes the basis whether they are to continue to the next stage or not. Continuing to the next phase, we start taking small risks and begin to share our own thoughts, opinions, and beliefs. If we begin to feel vulnerable, we can change our minds and switch opinions to avoid conflicts. In the next level, we now start revealing our feelings and personal experiences; our own joys and pains, our achievements and failures and some of our likes and dislikes. This stage is more vulnerable than the earlier ones because in here, us being unable to change how we feel about something, we can now accept and receive judgments. The next phase of intimacy will be the highest level; our needs, emotions and desires are being emphasized. This is the stage where we are known at the deepest core of our character and requires a great amount of trust in order to maintain the relationship built by the people i nvolved. (Wilson, 2011) Entering a social relationship, verbal and non-verbal communications are expected. Verbal communication is the communication that uses words, either written or spoken. It also refers to the use of sounds and language to relay a message. It serves as a vehicle for expressing desires, ideas, and concepts and is vital to the process of learning and teaching. This verbal communication varies according to the personality and mental outlook of a certain person. Non-verbal communication, on the other hand, is usually understood as the process of communication by means of sending and receiving messages which are not in the form of words. It is a natural, unconscious language that broadcasts the emotions and intentions of a certain individual by means of gestures, facial expressions and body language (Hickson III, M. Stacks, D., 1985). These non-verbal signals are separated into two kinds: the touchers and non-touchers. People who are considered touchers are usually the individuals who are not good in expressing themselves in words and prefer to convey their messages through the use of physical contact. Non-touchers on the other hand are the ones who articulate their messages through non-verbal signals but do not require the use of physical contact; they express their messages using body language such as facial expressions (Eyserick, H. Eyserick, M., 1983). Through the interview conducted, Psychology professors, Ms. Berba and Sir Tejeros (personal communication, 2012), have exclaimed that in their field of study, they are more aware to theses identifiers that both trigger violation of personal space and cues on intimacy. They have provided examples that both can be observable from day to day cases and widely applicable to the target market of this paper. Examples of signals that trigger violation of personal space would be sitting very close to another person or the positioning of body parts that obstruct the balance of the space that the individual and the other people share in a pubic place. A particular example that is observable within the male domination would be the violation of space inside the comfort rooms. Based on the narration of Sir Tejeros, he stated that â€Å"There’s this unspoken rule, which you might find interesting. In male comfort rooms, when there is someone occupying a certain urinal, you do not go directly to the ones beside it. So kunwari there are 3 urinals. There is someone doing his business here. And then there’s 2 and 3, you do not go here beside him. You jump one urinal because that’s the person’s personal space. Seriously, that happens all the time. If you were a guy you would have noticed that. If someone would go near that, the other guy doing his business would look angry or hostile towards the other person. Kasi personal space niya yun, eh. Kasi like when you do your business in a comfort room, it’s something intimate and personal to you. So when someone goes way to near your area, â€Å"K† parang ganun.† Another violation of personal space that Ms. Berba stated is the sudden outburst of emotion through verbal and non-verbal communication. That when a particular individual is very angry and frustrated, they are not aware and conscious of their actions because of the aggression and adrenaline that courses through their being thus having an impulsive instinct to enter the personal space of their offender and violating their personal space. Though there may be positive violations of personal space as well, and the emotion that stirs up this violation would be of surprise. And example would be when a bearer of good news delivers the message and the receiver becomes intimately grateful to the bearer and crosses the line of the sender’s personal space. This would still be a violation of personal space because the receiver was not able to respect the personal space of the bearer however this is another response that was done instinctively because of positive feedback to the message re layed. III. Conclusion The interrelation between privacy and intimacy is the link of relationship that people have between each other. It is through a bond that they have, that they allow walls of privacy to be brought down and there is permission to be intimate with the other being. There are several factors that would contribute to this such as personality, cultural background, age, gender and status. Though these may contribute to a healthy interaction, these factors may also be causes for violation of personal space. The differentiation between people whose social groups mingle with each other may produce friction if not properly addressed by the social norms that surround them. It is best that personal space of an individual is respected before advancing to a more relaxed state. However, personal space does not necessarily go hand in hand with intimacy and vice versa. It does contribute to one another as we have theorized beforehand, though we have been disproven that if personal space is not violated, this may be called intimate. Through research work and interviews conducted, we have distinguished personal space as a person’s personal, psychological space. (McConnell, J., 1985) meanwhile intimacy is a token of familiarity and affection. Both are subject to change and have signals that would identify if an individual’s personal space is violated or a person is being intimate with another. To further elaborate on the levels of intimacy that would distinguish the state of relationship wherein two individuals are involved, these levels contribute to how someone who is in the process of determining his or her position in the relationship and be able to pacify his or her intentions as to not cross the boundaries of the social norms. Apart from the levels, there are kinds of intimacy which are spiritual, emotional, intellectual, and sexual that would be the basis for a good foundation of a relationship. Signals that trigger intimacy and violation of personal space would be verbal and non-verbal communication. Verbal signals are on prose and non-prose means. On the other hand, non-verbal communication has touchers and non-touchers. They indicate stimuli-response contact and verify whether the process of communication is socially acceptable. These may not be necessary for all intimate partners though are highly observable throughout the society. Equipped with credible sources, this paper has given an array of responses that is useful for daily relations most especially for the target audience who are teenage adolescents who are undergoing inter and intra personal development. Expression of the mental and emotional outlook would be beneficial to build up the decision-making skills of a person. It also promotes awareness to the different kinds of scenarios that they would be dealing with in the future.